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Lucy, I'm home...

A week ago, I pulled into a dirt and gravel driveway behind my sister's friend's car. It was an overcast day with a lot of wind, but that kinda fit my stereotype of the sea shore. The 'camp' we had been offered turned ou…
Pack My Bags

I'm taking a vacation to the Cape of the Cod. I'm not sure how long I'll stay, but I know I may have a hard time finding an internet connection while I'm there. So, I bid you adieu for a few. Try not to mess up the place…
Questionable Content, Undeniable Wisdom

"It's the Second Law of Sexual Dynamics - If you think a girl is attracted to you, you are wrong." - Questionable Content
The Shirt Off My Back

Oh, and another thing: I'm not sure what cosmic conjunction is causing this, what kind of prophetic decree it is, but I'm getting lots of shirts from people. I've been given three shirts in the past two weeks, and I love…
I am Jake's Medulla Oblongota

I was watching Fight Club last night when I realized that, for the first time, it applied. It was released in 1999, and I've seen it tons of times since then. But now it's really starting to hit home... which sucks.In th…
Expect the Unexpected

It makes me wonder, you know, how things never go according to plan. Man, do I ever plan, too. I have these wonderful grandiose schemes set up in my head, intricate guidelines that direct the components of my life into t…
Just call me "Beauty"

I was lying down on the futon when I heard the phone ring. I was oh-so-comfortable, but my phone doesn't ring that often. I decided it was worth getting up and seeing who it was. I answered it."Hi Mom.""Hey Jake, I just…
The Holy Grail of the G.C.C.

After finishing my IBC Cream Soda, I went to the kitchen to rinse out the glass bottle. Before I made it to the sink, however, I noticed a head on my back porch. As I approached the back door, the rest of the body came i…