A Warm Place

Friday, 10 August 2007

• I'm Gonna Need a Bigger Gun (House Hunting I)

  I've been house-hunting for the better part of the summer now, and don't really have a lot to show for it. The market in my area isn't spectacular unless you have the money to match, and a single guy on a moderately low income is not cutting it. However, the situation may have changed today...

  A house went on the market earlier this week for $30,000 under it's assessed value, so I quickly e-mailed my realtor. I asked her if she knew about anything specifically wrong with this house (structural problems, alligator infestation, ancient indian curses, etc). She agreed that it seemed too good to be true, so she looked into it and set up a walk-through for this afternoon. Right before we were supposed to go take a look, she gave me the bad news.

  One of the reasons they're not asking for much for the house is that the bottom-half was converted into an Ophthalmologist's office. There isn't really any kitchen to speak of on the first floor, and the bathroom on that level doesn't have a shower in it. The only part of the house that's currently liveable is the second floor.

  So far, so good. I can deal with having the kitchen and bathroom on the second floor. But that wasn't all. There is also a current resident; an eighty-five year old woman living on the second floor, and she's been living there for the past twenty-five years. She's under the impression that she's going to stay where she is, and while that's not neccesarily going to change, it's really up to the buyer.

  There's also the issue of parking - there's no driveway on the property. I would have to put one in myself, because it's illegal to park on the streets when it snows. Besides, I'm having two other people move in with me, all of which have cars.

  The house, on the other hand, is absolutely beautiful. The woodwork around the stairs and areas of the house that weren't re-done for the doctor's office are fantastic. It has a huge basement, lots of room on each floor, a full attic - the works. Getting this house for what they're asking would be a steal.

  So... The way I see it, there are at least three ways I'm fucked here.

  1. I buy the house, get a great deal, let the old lady stay, and have to scramble around like mad to make it possible for me to live in my own house.
  2. I buy the house, get a great deal, become HitlerSatan, and kick a great-grandmother out of her home of twenty-five years.
  3. I don't get the house, someone else does, kicks the old lady out, and lives comfortably in a kick-ass cheap house. For some reason, when I think of this third scenario, I always imagine a fat man in a top-hat and monocle laughing as he uses me as a foot stool in his library.

  Oh well. I'll keep you folks updated as to what I decide (if I decide). Bah!

  • 10:59 PM
  • 50 Views
  • 6 eProps
  • 7 Comments